


sunflowers

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesiac Eren Yeager, Brain Injury, Car Accidents, Heartbroken Levi, Hospitals, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, Seizures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 13:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10361412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Excuse me... but, um..." Eren said softly, then bit his lip, looking at Levi in concern, before saying the three words that would break Levi forever."Who are you?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic has significantly less suffering than my fics usually have lmaO.,,,, but it's still Suffering and Angst

It was a wonderful Saturday like any other. Eren and Levi woke up around noon, wrapped in each other's arms, warm, happy. Eren held Levi tighter when he tried to get up, nuzzling his face further into his boyfriend's chest, stubbornly refusing to get out of bed. Levi swiped his tongue across Eren's cheek, making him yelp in surprise and let go. He scolded Levi in disgust, shaking his head, a smile playing at his lips.

They slowly got up and made pancakes for breakfast, smothering each other in flour in the process, making a mess in the kitchen. Levi kissed his nose and called him an idiot, making Eren giggle. They cleaned up the mess and ate their pancakes, chatting mindlessly. They spent the day watching movies, cuddled together, and Eren sketched Levi while he cooked lunch for them. It was a nice, peaceful day, and after they had lunch, Eren got a sudden, impulsive idea of how to make it better. He smiled widely at Levi once the thought came to him, and kissed his lover deeply, love overwhelming him.

Levi raised an eyebrow at him once he pulled back.

"What's going on, Eren?" He wondered suspiciously, and Eren just grinned in response.

"I'm gonna leave for about two hours or so, okay? Can you meet me in our spot at the park by then?" Eren asked, his bright eyes full of excitement.

Levi exhaled, shaking his head slightly, a little grin on his face at Eren's childish, almost mischievous excitement.

"Should I be afraid?" Levi wondered teasingly.

"Nope! Well, I hope not. Meet me at the park in two hours, okay?" Eren replied, then smiled again, his expression full of light and warmth. "I love you, Levi."

Levi felt his heart melt at those genuine, caring words. He must've heard them a hundred times, but he swore he loved Eren more and more each time he said that.

"I love you too, Eren." Levi replied just as sincerely, leaning forward and kissing Eren softly.

Eren smiled into the kiss and left immediately afterwards, waving at Levi as he shut the door.

Levi had no idea what Eren was up to, but he decided to just trust him and hope for the best. It must've been important, since they were going to meet up in that spot in the park.. the spot they first met, the spot they spent their six month anniversary, their one year anniversary, their two year anniversary. Levi did as Eren said- he drove to the park after two hours had passed, and sat down on his usual swing.

He waited for ten minutes. Twenty. By thirty, he was starting to get worried. Levi wouldn't be surprised if he was a little late- but thirty minutes felt like too much. Levi felt.. wrong. Eren should've been there by then.

He got out his phone and called Eren, but it immediately went to voicemail. He sent several texts, which all went unread.

Thirty more minutes passed, and the sun started to go down. Levi was getting more and more nervous with each minute that passed. What if Eren got hurt? What if he was dead? What if he wasn't coming back? What if.. what if, what if, what if.

Eventually, Levi's phone started to ring. He almost dropped it in surprise, but he scrambled to pick it up, pressing the 'answer' button before he even saw who was calling.

"Eren? Eren, is that you, are you okay?" Levi asked in a rush.

"Is this Levi Ackerman speaking?" An unfamiliar man's voice asked, too deep to be Eren's.

"Yes, that's me, why?" Levi responded impatiently.

"You're listed as the emergency contact for Eren Jaeger. I'm sorry to inform you that there's been an accident, he's at Maria Rose Hospital..." The man explained, and Levi fell to his knees in shock. The man continued to speak, but Levi couldn't hear a word- his hearing was muffled, his vision hazy, his blood thumping in his ears.

Eren... accident... hospital.

Levi had never before felt the fear he was experiencing now- the raw, helpless fear from hearing that the only person he truly loved in the world had been hurt, and Levi had no idea how badly.

"I-I'm on my way." Levi eventually rasped, hanging up the phone and shoving it into his pocket. He stumbled to his feet and ran to his car as fast as he possibly could, pure adrenaline taking over his system. He drove to the hospital on autopilot, faster than he'd ever driven before, not giving a shit if any police officer tried to pull him over. Levi would've driven through hell to get to Eren at that moment. All he could think was that he needed to make sure that Eren was safe, that Eren was okay, that Eren was alive.

Once Levi hastily parked outside the hospital, he sprinted inside and immediately demanded to know where Eren was, his body trembling violently.

Levi tore his way through the hallway after the receptionist told him which room to go to, and slammed open the door.

Once he laid eyes on Eren, all of his energy, his adrenaline, his strength- all of it dissipated in an instant. Time had been speeding up and speeding up, but now that he was with Eren, it slowed to a dizzying stop.

The first thing Levi felt was relief at the sight of Eren living and breathing, his heart monitor beeping.. he was alive. A crushing sense of worry almost immediately replaced the relief, though, once Levi really looked Eren over.

He had thick gauze wrapped around his head, and Levi could see dried blood caked in his hair- too much blood. A deep purple bruise spread across Eren's left cheekbone, and another even darker bruise was on his jaw. His right wrist had a cast on it, and a hospital gown covered whatever other injuries he might've sustained. Blankets from the hospital bed were pulled up to his chest and he was laying down, his eyes closed in a peaceful expression, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. Eren looked so, so pale... almost as pale as a corpse, and that terrified Levi to the core. He had numerous machines giving him liquids in his arms and in the veins of his hands.

Eren looked more fragile than Levi had ever seen him- than Levi ever thought he would see him. It was a bizarre sight, and Levi couldn't begin to fathom the fact that that really was his Eren. Just a few hours ago, they were snuggled together under a blanket, watching movies, as happy and healthy as ever... but now, Eren was as pale as a ghost, with various machines connected to his body keeping him alive.

Levi dropped down in a seat near the hospital bed and carefully, gently grasped Eren's cold, limp hand in his own, concern etched across his sharp features. He sat there for about a minute, his body and mind numb from shock. Soon enough, the door opened, and a nurse walked in.

"Hello, are you Levi Ackerman?" She questioned, and he nodded quickly.

"How is he?" Levi asked immediately. She smiled a little.

"He's alive and in stable condition for now, but we need to keep a close watch over him until he wakes up. Eren's car was slammed into on his side by a drunk driver, and it rolled over several times on the side of the road... the impact caused Eren to have a broken wrist, cracked ribs, and a traumatic brain injury. We won't be able to know the details of that until he wakes up. There are many different outcomes with traumatic brain injuries, Mr. Ackerman, and I want to warn you of the worst possible scenarios. There's a chance that Eren may not wake up. He could go into a coma and never come out, or he could be completely brain dead once he wakes up. He could lose his memory, lose his sight, or become paralyzed. But there's also a chance that the injury didn't affect anything major, and he could wake up and be completely okay. There's no way to know for sure right now." The nurse described Eren's injuries to Levi, making him feel sick to his stomach.

_There's a chance that Eren may not wake up._

Levi still heard those words echoing in his head once the nurse left, ricocheting off the sides of his skull, tormenting him.

Levi stayed by Eren's side in silence for several minutes before he realized... he really should call Armin and Mikasa. He needed someone near him, he needed someone to tell him that Eren was going to be fine. Levi pulled out his phone with shaking fingers and called Mikasa to tell her what happened.

He sat with Eren for about an hour before Mikasa and Armin got there... his mind was full of images of Eren's shocked face as a car smashed into him, his head slamming into the side of the car as it rolled over, blood pouring out of his head, his unconscious body laying limp in the car once it landed. Eren must've been so scared, he must've been in so much pain.. god, all Levi wanted at that moment was a reassuring smile from Eren. He wanted to hug Eren, he wanted to pull him close to his chest and keep him safe from the world.

Levi filled Mikasa and Armin in on the situation once they got to the hospital, and they all sat in worried silence, staring at Eren and wishing he would open his eyes. They sat there and watched Eren's unconscious form for hours on end, the only sounds coming from the heart monitor.

Mikasa and Armin eventually left to go back home and sleep, but Levi refused to move from Eren's side. He wanted to be there if Eren woke up, no, _WHEN_ Eren woke up. He didn't want Eren to be scared or alone once he came to.. so he had to stay. He fell asleep in the uncomfortable plastic chair at around 4 AM to the steady beep of Eren's heart and the sickening smell of disinfectant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another chapterrrr~

Levi had to leave the hospital the following day to go to work, but he made Mikasa stay with Eren the whole time he was gone. He told her to call him if Eren woke up, and he kept his phone close to him, checking it constantly, hoping for news.. but none came. Once his shift was over, Levi bought a bouquet of sunflowers and took them to Eren's hospital room, since they were his favorite. He stayed with Eren late that night and fell asleep in the hospital room again, dreaming of Eren, Eren, Eren.

Two weeks passed without a change. Levi visited Eren every day and brought him sunflowers each time. He didn't cry at all. He was desperately holding onto the hope that Eren would wake up and they could resume their normal lives.. he wouldn't allow himself to think of the worst case scenario. Levi wished Eren would just open his eyes, his beautiful, dazzling green eyes.. he wanted Eren to say that he loved him. Maybe then he'd be able to breathe again, maybe then the overwhelming, constant tension in his shoulders would go away. Maybe then Levi would be happy again.

He did his best to continue his life, since he knew Eren would want it that way. He went to work every day and started sleeping at home again once Armin convinced him to, and he survived. But his life was empty without Eren. The house was too silent without Eren's giggles, the bed was too cold without Eren's warmth beside him.. it wasn't the same without Eren at home by his side, and Levi could barely stand it. The only reason he was making it through was because of his hope.

Exactly two weeks and five days had passed since the accident. Levi was going to visit Eren again, along with Armin and Mikasa, and they all had decided to get lunch together afterwards. Levi brought his usual sunflowers, and added them to the dozens of bouquets already surrounding Eren. Levi was sitting in his usual seat near Eren, chatting mindlessly with Armin and Mikasa. They were in the middle of a conversation when Levi heard it.

"Mm.."

He quickly glanced over to Eren to see his eyebrows furrowing, his eyelids fluttering, his head slowly moving to the side.

The conversation came to a halt and they all stared at Eren in awe.

"Eren..?" Levi whispered, his eyes wide, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest.

"Mmmm.." Eren let out another small groan, stirring again, and slowly pushed his eyes open.

"Oh my god... I.. I'll go get the nurse.." Armin breathed, rushing out the door.

Eren blinked a few times, his expression scrunched up, and glanced around him.

"Where... am I...?" He rasped, his voice weak.

Levi felt like the wind got knocked out of him.

"Y-you're at the hospital... you're okay, oh, thank _god_ you're okay..." Levi gasped, his eyes filling with tears as he gazed at Eren.

"What... happened...?" Eren asked, looking at Levi and Mikasa in pure confusion.

"You got in a car accident.. but you're okay now." Mikasa informed him, her voice breaking.

Armin quickly came in with the nurse, and she went to Eren's side immediately.

"You're awake... I need to ask you a few questions, okay? You got a traumatic brain injury during the accident, and we need to make sure your brain is working well." She told Eren, who stared at her with wide eyes.

"Can you tell me your name?" She asked.

Eren's eyebrows furrowed again and he looked at the ground, biting his lip as he usually did whenever he was deep in thought. The seconds passed like hours, and Levi held his breath, terrified at how long it was taking Eren to respond.

"I... I... I.... don't know." Eren responded quietly, his breathing growing heavy, horror evident in his voice. Levi felt dread sink into the pit of his stomach, and he covered his mouth with his hand, petrified.

Eren looked at the nurse in fear, then looked at Levi, Armin, and Mikasa.

"I- I don't know- I don't know who I am- I d-don't know, I'm supposed to know, but I don't know..." Eren gasped, his voice cracking, his eyes watering.

"It's okay. Breathe, take deep breaths, you're going to be okay. Your name is Eren Jaeger. Does that sound familiar?" The nurse asked him kindly.

Eren shook his head quickly, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"No, I-I don't know, I don't think I've heard that before.." he replied, sounding like a cornered animal.

Levi couldn't do anything except watch on in pure fear.

"Do you know how old you are?" The nurse questioned.

Eren's forehead was creased in worry as he shook his head.

"You're twenty years old, Eren. Do you know what the date is, or what year it is?" The nurse pressed, and Eren looked at her with terror swimming in his eyes as he shook his head slowly.

"N-no.. no, I don't.. I don't know.. I.. I don't.." Eren stuttered through shallow, panting breaths, looking around him in confused, terrified alarm. "I don't.. I d-don't.. I don't.. I.. I don't.."

Eren sounded like a broken record, repeating those words over and over, gasping for air.

"Eren, take deep breaths, you're going to be just fine. Memory loss is common with traumatic brain injuries, breathe..." The nurse attempted to consol him, but his breathing just got worse.

Suddenly, Eren's eyes rolled into the back of his head and his body stiffened. He began convulsing uncontrollably, his body shaking violently... Levi watched, his body frozen and numb with fear, as the nurse attempted to help Eren.

Only a few seconds passed before the monitor flatlined.

Levi's entire world slowed to a stop. He heard a loud, agonized scream, not realizing that it was coming from him. He scrambled to his feet and tried to rush towards Eren, to help him, to save him, to do something, _anything_ to keep him alive. He barely took a step forward before someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards.

Levi screeched Eren's name, devastated tears pouring down his face as he was dragged out of the hospital room, watching as nurses and doctors rushed into Eren's room to save him. Levi couldn't hear or feel a thing- it was as if his entire being had been ripped away, and all that was left behind was pure desperation. Levi clawed and punched and hit and screamed at whoever was holding him back, wanting to escape, _needing_ to go back to Eren like he'd never needed anything before.

Levi faintly registered the feeling of pain in his neck, and his body grew extremely heavy. He fell to the ground and dizziness took over him... his eyelids drooped closed, and he lost consciousness within seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i combined two of my chapters to make this one bc the first one seemed too short. hope you enjoy!

Levi woke to the distant, fuzzy sound of beeping. He ever so slowly pushed his eyes open to see a white room.. he glanced down and noticed that he was in a hospital bed. What the hell...? He glanced over to see Armin sitting in a chair next to him, his face in his hands... and suddenly everything came back to him. Eren getting in an accident, Eren's coma, Eren convulsing, the flatline of his heart monitor. Levi's eyes widened, fear making his blood run cold.

"Armin.. Armin, what the hell happened, is Eren...?" Levi blurted out, and tried to get up, but his wrists were strapped to the sides of the bed. He yanked at the restraints, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Take it easy, Levi, don't freak out.. Eren's okay. It was just a seizure, it happens with traumatic brain injuries like Eren's, it's nothing unusual. But you freaked out and started attacking one of the nurses, so they sedated you and put you in here... a nurse has to come talk to you before they let you go." Armin explained, then sighed, rubbing his temples. He looked beyond exhausted, and guilt suddenly poured over Levi. Armin was struggling just as much as he was, and now he had to deal with Levi's bullshit as well..

"I'm sorry for causing trouble." Levi apologized sincerely. "Eren's memory.."

"The nurse said she won't know anything about that until Eren wakes up again and she can evaluate him further. It's possible that his memory will return completely once he wakes up, but nothing's for certain." Armin described, and Levi nodded a little.

"Could you get that nurse..? I need to be in there with him." Levi stated, and Armin cracked a tiny smile.

"You really love him, don't you?" Armin whispered.

Levi exhaled shakily.

"Yeah. I really, really do."

\---

Once Levi convinced the nurse that he wasn't going to attack any more of the hospital staff, he returned to Eren's side. It was around 6 PM by then.. Levi knew he was going to spend the night there. He wouldn't miss it when Eren woke up again, there was no way. He needed to know if Eren remembered everything or not. If Eren remembered... him. The thought of that was unbearable to even consider. Eren had to remember him. He just had to. Levi sighed as he sank into the plastic hospital chair, closing his eyes.

"Please remember. Please, please, god, just remember me." Levi whispered into the quiet room, in a kind of desperate, selfish prayer.

\---

Levi woke up to the sound of someone talking.

"Excuse me... hey... sir..?" A gentle, familiar voice called out, and Levi opened his bleary eyes to see Eren in front of him, his bright, green eyes focused on Levi. Levi sat up quickly, gasping in a quick breath.

"Eren..." he whispered, unsure of what to say, his mind going blank.

"Excuse me... but, um..." Eren said softly, then bit his lip, looking at Levi in concern, before saying the three words that would break Levi forever.

"Who are you?"

Levi felt like someone had kicked him straight in the chest when he heard those words. His shoulders slumped and he looked at Eren in complete devastation, his eyes brimming with tears.

"No... no.... Eren, that's not funny.." Levi breathed, shaking his head in denial. "No.. no, you have to remember, please, Eren.. you know me, you do.."

Eren looked at Levi with concern, but the usual love in his eyes had vanished. Levi was nothing to him. Just a stranger. Two irreplaceable, treasured years of pure love and happiness- wiped away from his memory.. as if they had never happened.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. I don't know you." Eren whispered, looking at Levi with an unfamiliar gaze. This... this wasn't his Eren. It couldn't be. His Eren would have pulled him in for a hug and kissed him deeply, his Eren would have looked at him with caring eyes, instead of confused ones.

"What's your name..?" Eren asked after a few moments of painful silence.

"It's... it's Levi." He responded, barely able to breathe through the shock and pain coursing through his veins.

Eren opened his mouth to say something else, but just then, the nurse walked in.

"Oh, Eren, you're awake! How are you feeling?" She questioned, smiling kindly at him.

"I feel really tired.. and confused... but I'm okay." Eren responded.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" She asked.

Eren bit his lip for a moment, but then nodded after the realization came to him.

"Yeah... What happened to me?" He asked, fear slipping into his voice.

"You had a seizure caused by sudden stress after your head injury. That will most likely be the only one you experience, but there's a slight chance it could happen again." The nurse answered. "Do you remember anything else besides yesterday?"

Eren closed his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed, thinking hard for a few moments... but he shook his head.

"No, I.. I don't know anything. What head injury?"

The nurse smiled at him sadly.

"Almost three weeks ago, you were driving somewhere, when a drunk driver slammed into your side of the car. Your brain was severely injured, causing you to go into a coma until yesterday, and causing this memory loss. You also broke your wrist and cracked your ribs, but those will heal over time." She explained. "Now, I need to check your vitals and a few basic things to see the extent of your injury, okay?"

The nurse checked Eren over for a few minutes while Levi called Armin and Mikasa. The nurse finished her check as Levi walked back in.

"Your vitals and your reflexes are perfectly fine... the only thing that seems to be wrong is your memory loss. We'll need to keep you here for a few more days to make sure you're alright, but then you'll be released... I'll let you talk with Levi now- I'm sure you have a lot of questions." The nurse stated, and smiled at Eren before walking out.

Levi sank back into his usual chair and sighed, grief weighing on his heart as he gazed at his lover- no.. the empty shell of his lover.

Eren glanced around him, exhaling heavily.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked instinctively, the words leaving his mouth without his permission.

Eren glanced up at him and shrugged a little, which meant that he wasn't.

"I.. don't know. I'm really confused.. I don't know anything about who I am. I.. don't even remember my name- was it Evan?" Eren answered, his forehead scrunched in confusion.

"Eren. Eren Grisha Jaeger." Levi replied, swallowing hard. "What do you want to know? Go ahead and ask."

Eren blinked at him for a few moments before speaking.

"Um... who brought all those flowers?" Eren questioned, gesturing to the sunflowers around him.

"Me." Levi answered immediately, and cleared his throat, averting Eren's eyes. "Sunflowers are your favorite."

"Oh.." Eren said softly. "How.. how do I know you?"

Levi smiled bitterly at the question, closing his eyes.

"We're... close. We live together." He responded vaguely.

"How long have I known you?"

"Two years."

"Oh.. I'm sorry." Eren said, his voice timid.

"Why are you sorry?" Levi asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Eren shrugged.

"I don't know. This is really confusing and scary for me, but.. it's probably pretty hard on you too, if we're that close." He stated. "So.. I'm sorry."

Levi felt a lump in his throat and he cleared it again.

"It's... not your fault. I'm sorry, too."

Right after he said that, the door opened, and Armin and Mikasa walked in.

"Eren... how are you doing?" Mikasa asked, sitting next to him, care in her eyes.

"I-I'm okay.. very confused. Um... I'm sorry, but who are you?" Eren replied, and Mikasa's expression hardened.

"My name is Mikasa Ackerman. I'm your sister.. well, adopted sister, but I've been in the family since we were seven." She answered him patiently.

"Family.. do we have any other siblings? Where are our parents?" Eren questioned, looking at Mikasa expectantly.

"No, it's just us. Mom and dad are dead... they died in a fire when we were fifteen. We went into foster care after that." She explained.

Eren blinked at her, seeming shocked, but nodded a little.

"Oh.. okay. And.. who are you?" Eren turned to Armin, who smiled reassuringly at him.

"Armin Arlert. I'm your best friend.. I hope I am, at least." Armin said, laughing slightly, and Eren looked at him in confusion.

"Just a joke." Armin clarified, smiling a little at him.

"Oh. Sorry.." Eren murmured. "How long have I known you?"

"Since we were pretty young. Eight, I think?" Armin replied. "Do you want to hear the story of how we met? Maybe it'll help you figure out who you are a little."

Eren nodded quickly, and Armin told the story. Armin was really nerdy and small when he was younger, and some kids at his and Eren's school had decided to pick on him. They took Armin outside and threw all his books on the ground and threatened him, but before they could do anything, Eren ran over to them and yelled at them to leave Armin alone. Eren tried to fight them off, but they easily overpowered Eren and beat him up. Armin and Eren became close friends, and Eren recklessly went after anyone who tried to hurt his best friend, even if it ended up with him getting injured.

Eren was smiling a little at the end of the story.

"That's the type of person you are, Eren. You're kind, brave, outgoing, and strong.. you always stand up for what's right, even if it's a stupid thing to do. You're reckless and impulsive.. but it's always for a good cause. You have a heart of gold, and you're an amazing friend." Armin told him honestly, grinning through his exhaustion.

"Really...?" Eren asked, looking at Armin in amazement. "I'm all of that? That's who I am?"

"Yes, that's who you are... he's so right, Eren. You're an idiot sometimes, but you always have good intentions, and you can make anyone laugh. You're friendly and positive and always great to be around, even when you're doing something stupid." Mikasa added on.

Levi's eyes filled with tears as they met with Eren's.

"Eren Jaeger... you're a brat." He murmured, shaking his head. "You want to know who you are...? You're the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me. Whenever you walk into a room, you glow like you're brighter than a thousand stars. Your art is more beautiful than Picasso, Michelangelo, Van Gogh... Just because it's created by your hands. I've never met anyone even slightly as lovely as you are, and I never will." Levi went on, the tears spilling down his face, trembling slightly, his voice breaking from emotion, unable to stop himself from saying all of this. "Every single little _moment_ I've spent with you has shined. Even when we've fought, when you've sobbed on me, when everything felt like it would fall apart. You still shined. You kept me together through all of it. You saved me in my darkest days.. and you've been the best part of my goddamn life since the moment we met. But now.... now.... now you don't even fucking.. recognize me." Levi covered his mouth with his hand after the last word, feeling like he was coming apart at the seams, the tears pouring faster down his face, his hands shaking hard.

"I c-can't.. I'm sorry, I just... fucking can't." Levi breathed shakily, before standing up and leaving, unable to stay in there for another second, completely overwhelmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! i'd love to hear any thoughts you have on this!


End file.
